The Third

I wish we would have met two years ago

So that the spirit you breathed into me the first time we kissed

would have gotten me through those endless nights

when I came so close to giving up on love

 

I wish I would have had you there with me

Every time my self esteem negativily

encompassed my passionate heart

Each time someone told me I couldn’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t

succeed.

 

Every time I failed

Every time I lost

If only you would have been there to tell me

If not this…then something better.

 

I needed you most when I was alone

like crumpled up love letters stuffed to the back of the closet

because I can’t bring myself to throw them away

yet all I really wish for are new words to take their place.

 

But maybe what I really want

is to meet you two years from today

Our past too far behind to interrupt the present

and all the ifs, ands, and buts

have dissolved away

 

You exist to me now like the craving

of New Zealand Kiwis

when they’re not in season and when it would take

an entire day’s travel to reach them.

 

You are untouchable.

Not understood

because for some reason

I just can’t seem to reach you.

 

The Almond shaped eyes tell countless stories

of pasts I will never be a part of and

the future that we are both too unsure

of our existence in either.

 

So tell me, how do I know if I should be

so grateful for a person who feels just beyond my reach..

I don’t know if I should trust you

but I do.

I trust every last bit of you although

I know nothing of it.

 

A complete and utter mystery to me

Yet all my walls are brought down at the sound of your voice

The sense of your touch and the

Beauty of your spirit.

 

You say you’ve never been held the way you love holding people

And I say that embracing is my favorite thing to do

Maybe just for you,

but maybe that’s enough.

 

You are a tough outer shell

With feathers inside

but I’d be lying if I said

I wasn’t afraid of you

 

And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t remember

every last detail of yourself

that has been shared with me

for the past two and a half months

 

I like you.

I adore you.

And I want

all of you.